"Am I the one?" He asks.
I want you to be. Don't you understand?
"Of course you are."
And she doesn't return the question.
She doesn't know what she'll do if he doesn't say it back.

Waktu

Waktu, mengapa kau begitu kejam?
Mengapa kau tak berpihak padaku?
Ketika jarak terasa menyedihkan, kau membuat segalanya tampak tak meyakinkan.
Seperti ini kah yang harus aku rasakan?
Ketika aku berusaha untuk selalu ada, mencoba menerima, mencoba sabar, dan mencoba mempertahankan, tapi mengapa seperti hanya aku lah yang berusaha?
Waktu, kembalilah. Aku merindukannya.

Hujan

Aku menyukai hujan,
Kau tau mengapa?
Karena saat hujan, aku tak perlu menyembunyikan air mataku.

- n.n.a

You know what?
I wish I'd never loved you this much ..
So I don't have to asked you for stay,
So I don't have to begged you for a time,
So I don't have to be sad if you are not here,
So I don't have to tried the best of me,
So I don't have to asking my myself what can I do for you,
So I don't have to be jealous, not at all.
So I don't have to pleased you,
So I don't have to feel this way.
I WISH, i wish ..
But the realities,
I asked you for stay,
I begged you for a time,
I was sad if you are not here,
I tried the best of me for you,
I always asking myself what can I do for you, to make you happy because of me, to make you think of me, to make you feel so lucky to have me,
I was sooooo jealous. I get jealous for nothing. I get jealous because I knew I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU,
I pleased you,
And i knew how hurt it is.

"I hope we last. I hope we do."

I wish. I hope, but ..
But if we don't, this is how I want you to remember me:

I want you to remember me in your arms, listening to the sound of your heartbeat. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me mad for absolutely no reason and in tears because those times you made me so sad. Remember me in that time you held my hand. Remember me in those times I whisppered I love you, only you and you said it back. 

 Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember me looking at you and smile. Remember the way we drove insane about both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs I couldn't stop listening to and the childish dreams I ever told you. 

If it comes to it I don't want you to remember the ending.
Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.

HELLO.

Hey, how are you?
How's life?
I haven't see you yet. I'm sorry, things are different now. It almost 3 years since that day right? We're decided to be just a friend, I mean more than friend but just less than couple, we called it the-closerest-bestfriend. Because we knew, relationships would never work for us.
Ah, I just miss that moments.
Remember that day when you told me you would always there for me?
I trusted you. Because i know you would.
You told me, i can talk to you everytime.
See us now, you prove it. I know you would. Thank you for all those times.
Thank you for not giving up to me.
Thank you for being such a really really good friend.

Don’t let her sleep with those emotions.Tell her you love her. Assure her that she was the best thing that has ever happened to you. Make her think she’s worth loving, of course she does, right? Because she needs it even if she used those words “I’m okay”, she is not okay, not at all. If you can see pain in her eyes or anxiety in her voice, don’t let her sleep that way. Just don't. And no it’s not just being cheesy.
You love her?
 Then, prove it especially those times when she feels she’s not lovable.

Aku melangkah kedalam ruangan itu untuk kesekian lagi.
Mencari sosokmu yang perlahan memudar, dan aku melihatnya. Ya dia.
Aku melihatnya kembali, tanpa kusadari kakiku melangkah kearahnya. Ah, tidak tidak. Aku ingin mencarimu, bukan dia. Lalu dia menoleh, ke arahku.
"Apa kabar?" Tanyanya.
Jutaan kenangan itu menyeruak kembali, pilu rasanya.
"Aku baik," jawabku.
"Kau masih sama," katanya.

Ada apa? Tanyanya
Tidak, bukan urusanmu.
Lalu?
Apanya? Ku bilang, bukan urusanmu, jawabku.
Memang bukan, tapi tak ada salahnya aku tau kan?
Aku tersenyum. Salah, jelas salah. Kataku dalam hati.
Ada apa? Tanyanya.
Kau tidak menyadarinya? Tanyaku.
Kita...berbeda?
Jawaban macam apa itu?
Aku tidak pandai menerka, katanya.
Lucu sekali.
Kau membuatku semakin bingung, aku tak mengerti. Katanya
Kau membuatku sedih, tidak kah kau sadari?
Apa maksudmu? Tanyanya.
Semuanya seharusnya tak seperti ini bukan? Kau dan aku. Seharusnya kita masih tertawa bersama saat ini, berbagi kisah hari ini, menceritakan hal bodoh dan tak berguna, saling berkata i love you more, mencoba membahagiakan satu sama lain, dan berharap akan terus seperti itu. Tertawa. Bahagia. Bersama.
Jadi maksudmu, ini salahku? Tanyanya.
Tidak ada yang salah menurutku. Hanya kita tak saling mengenal lagi, benarkah?
Kau selalu membuatku bingung, katanya lagi.
Kau selalu seperti itu, tak mencoba mengerti, kataku.
Aku berusaha mengertimu, tapi kau tidak. Katanya.
Jadi, ini salahku? Tanyaku.
Coba kau pikirkan, katanya.
Kalau ini salahku, mengapa tak kita bicarakan? Mengapa tak saling berusaha mengingatkan? Kau yang bilang kita harus saling terbuka, aku mencoba. Kataku dalam hati.
Mengapa kau diam?
Karena aku tak tau harus berkata apa.
Belum terlambat, katanya
Terlambat apa? Tanyaku.
Semuanya, aku yakin kau mengerti.
Belum terlambat, kataku.
Kau terseyum, akupun begitu. Karena kita tau, dalam hati.

-n.n.a

Ah, tidak penting untuk kau ketahui, kataku.
Mengapa?
Karena semua sudah berbeda. Kau. Dan. Aku.
Tapi kenapa?
Karena, tidakkah kau sadari apa yang sedang terjadi disini? Tanyaku.
Kau berusaha menjauh dariku, jawabnya.
Tidak, tidak.
Lalu? Kau kembali bertanya.
Waktu kita memang sudah habis. There's nothing we can do about it. We live in a different world, you with yours and vice versa then i would do nothing about it, jawabku.
Kau tidak berusaha mengelak, mungkin memang itu kenyataannya. Kau tidak berusaha menahanku, mungkin memang itu yang kau inginkan. Membiarkanku pergi. Ya, pergi menjauh darimu.


-n.n.a

Goodbye 2015

Friday, January 1 '16
HELLO !
Welcome to the new year ..
Say goodbyes to 2015
For every moments that ever happened in 2015
Terima kasih 2015 untuk setiap tawa, sukacita, sakit hati, air mata, kesedihan, kekecewaan, kekeliruan, kebingungan, untuk semua hal yang telah terjadi ditahun 2015.
I believe everything happens for a reason.
Dan apapun yang terjadi tahun lalu, there was a thousand lesson has been learned.
Thank you 2015, and welcome 2016
IAM READY!